Sometimes, I find myself wishing I could be more like a robot, devoid of emotions. This thought, though irrational, often crosses my mind. As a clinical psychology graduate student and a psychologist intern at the University Hospital of Iceland, I spend my days navigating the complex emotional landscapes of my clients. I also extensively research the emotional landscape that characterizes OCD specifically in relation to my PhD.
In my clinical work, I work with individuals dealing with social anxiety, depression, and various emotional disorders, which inevitably leads me to reflect on my own feelings.
Last Monday was a day of mixed emotions. I started my morning with client sessions, which went smoothly. However, by lunchtime, an overwhelming sense of nervousness crept in. It wasn’t a full-blown panic attack, but the anxiety was palpable. I sat in the lunchroom, unable to eat despite the food being appetizing. This reaction made sense; when anxiety strikes, blood is directed to the big muscles rather than the digestive system. I knew I needed to eat before my presentation, but the hunger just wasn’t there.
Reflecting on my experience with anxiety treatments, I realized that while I can guide clients through therapy, I felt a tinge of shame for being nervous about my presentation. Rationally, I understood that it was natural to feel anxious, especially when presenting at a conference. Yet, emotions often defy logic.
The conference itself was a success. I presented research conducted with a fantastic team at Stockholm University, which led me to ponder the complexities of the human condition. Even as a clinical psychology intern, I experience emotions, and that’s perfectly okay. This realization has prompted me to consider the importance of discussing emotions openly and with care. It’s acceptable to be human and to feel emotions.
The conference was engaging, with attendees listening attentively and asking insightful questions. The key takeaway for me was that it’s okay to feel your emotions. Being nervous or anxious sometimes indicates that you care about what you’re doing. That was certainly how I felt today.
I was reminded of the social anxiety disorder manual by David Clark and Adrian Wells. One of their recommendations is to turn your attention outward instead of inward. Focus on the environment and get lost in the conversation. Speaking over a group can be nerve-wracking, so I prefer one-on-one interactions. I start by talking to one person, then shift my gaze to another, engaging with them briefly, and then speak to someone in the back, making eye contact. This approach helps me gauge how the entire group is understanding and relating to the content I am conveying.
The key takeaway for me is that embracing emotions is a vital part of the human experience. As mental health professionals, it’s crucial to acknowledge our feelings and use them to connect with others. By doing so, we not only enhance our understanding of the human condition but also foster a more empathetic and supportive environment for our clients.
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